Internal Dynamics of Families

The NCRF defines this content area as “an understanding of family strengths and weaknesses and how family members relate to each other” (ncfr.org).

I would define this content area as an understanding of the family as an interrelated system where individual strengths and weaknesses affect every member.

Education

Family Relations and Gender Roles

• Learned about different family structures

• Discussed how the family is a system and one member affects the whole system

Criminal Justice System and Family Violence

• Elaborated on the specific dynamics within abusive relationships, such as the power and control wheel

• Discussed the many reason why a victim might stay in an abusive relationship

Organizational Conflict

• Learned how to identify and assest conflict within a system

• Designed and implemented an intervention plan for an organization

Experience

Differentiation based marriage book club

• Read, discussed, and analyzed Passionate Marriage and Intimacy & Desire by Dr. David Schnarch with a group of graduate students

Training

Signs and Symptoms class

• Trained to identify signs of abuse in children and how to address the situation

Reflection

My education has given me a deeper understanding of family dynamics. Family dynamics are complex as the family acts as a system. In a system, one change affects every piece of the system. This understanding is especially important within individualistic cultures like the United States because it is our tendency to see an individual struggling and try to fix that individual without considering the system that they are in. There may need to be systemic changes made.

Another important aspect of family systems is that systems do not like change. Systems like to stay in homeostasis. In light of this, if we fix an individual in isolation, the chances of regression are high, because they are a part of a system that wants things to stay the same. The system, knowingly or ignorantly, encourages each individual’s behavior within that system. All these ideas are contained in family systems theory. This theory has been influencial to me and informs my thinking. Family systems theory is taught and applied in all family studies and human services classes. I have analyzed case studies, engaged in group discussions, and also learned more about systems in my conflict in organizations class.

In my class organizational conflict, we learn that organizations (like families) are a system. I learned how conflict affects a system. We also talked about how people respond to change and techniques that will increase positivity toward change, as well as sustain lasting change in an organization. This information is easy to apply to families, since they organizations and families are both systems.

The class, Family Relations and Gender Roles, taught me about the way certain behaviors, addictions, and personalities affect the entire family system. We analyzed case studies of individuals with toxic parents and had to decide what type of parenting they had. This equipped me to understand the internal dynamics of several types of families, including those with abuse and addiction. I have a strong understanding of the internal dynamics of several types of families, which is important because understanding ones family of origin gives us insight into the individual. When working with the whole family, it is helpful to have a basic understanding of common behaviors and feeling within a specific family type.

I also took a class that specifically discussed the influence of violence within families. This class helped me understand several aspects of abuse as well as the specific dynamics within abusive relationships. This class trained me to be empathetic and understanding toward individuals in abusive situations. Knowing the research behind family violence, the perpetuation of violence, and why partners stay in abusive relationsips will make me a better therapist in my future. The power and control wheel is one resource that I will take with me from this class to help me understanding the internal dynamics within abusive relationships.

My involvement in a differentiation-based research team and book club gave me insight into the dynamics of married life. I read Intimacy & Desire and Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch and discussed his books with graduate students in the Marriage and Family Therapy program at K-State. I loved learning about the comfort and growth cycle. Relationships and systems like things to stay the same. Even when we think we want change, we eventually realize that change may cause anxiety to the point where we revert back to what is familiar. Good change, or growth is an important aspect of being in relationship with others, but to grow, couples must leave the comfort cycle and enter into the growth cycle. This model shows the many reactions and feeling people commonly have in both the comfort and growth cycle.

Symbolic Interaction Theory would fit well with the work Schnarch has done. Often his clients perceive things about their partner’s motives or interpret something differently than their partner intended. This relates to the comfort and growth cycle in that one partner may want to enter the growth cycle, while the other prefers to stay in familiar territory. The way partners interpret each other’s behavior is what symbolic interaction theory is all about. As a therapist, it is important to draw people’s attention to this, as we often mis-interpret each other. Relationships are very complex, especially after years of developing certain patterns within a marriage. Family patterns and the way members interpret the behaviors of other members are a valuable piece of internal dynamics of families.

When answering the question, what does a healthy and strong family look like, we tend to answer by explaining what it does not look like. Most of my knowledge is based on what a healthy family is not. This is valuable because in reality, every family has room for growth, and toxicity in families is a reality today. It is crucial that family life educators know what unhealthy families look like. It is also important to know about specific family dynamics. I have a great foundation for working with healthy and unhealthy families. I am grateful that I have had the chance to learn about all types of families. This gives me a basic foundation for working with all sorts of people from many backgrounds. I look forward to growing my skills in specific areas, so I can provide the best high-quality care. As a family studies and human services (with a minor in conflict analysis and trauma studies) graduate, I believe I am a great candidate for graduate programs as I have a basic understanding of internal dynamics of families.